1) The Jokingly Sweet Talking Method: I know everyone knows of those guys (hell you might just be one) who insist on pretending to be your boyfriend for a 5 second span in order to try to woo you. First of all, this doesn't make any sense. They say things like, "hey girl, where are we going tonight."..... This doesn't leave me turned on in any way, shape, or form but instead leaves me thinking, No. When do you remember me saying yes to any sort of invitation out with you? It's these guys who need to rewind and locate the step they clearly missed...the asking part.
2) The Sleezy yet (mildly) Sexy Method: Here are the guys who use words like cunt and pussy in everyday vocabulary because they think it's appealing; unfortunately I dated one of them and cheated on him with another. Obviously, this form of flattery attracted me somewhere down the road but it's half-hearted and in the end, only ends with a good but detrimental hookup.
3) The Uncomfortable Friend Mode: I know so many guys who flirt with everything they've got and still leave with nothing in their pocket...nor their pants come to think of it. They don't even attempt a cheesy one-liner for fear of ensuing a change in their oh so stable friendships. But when it comes right down to it, if she's worth keeping as a friend then establishing the opportunity for something more and failing is not going to hurt it. It doesn't hurt to try.
4) "Hello Goodbye" Tactic: These are the guys who leave me the most frustrated because beyond the exterior they haven't even given me the chance to see anything else! They start with a hi, I'm blah, fade into small talk with the nearest friend, and stick in a bye when they're lost for words. You speak english so, use it.
5) The Cocky (deceivingly desperate) Attempt: I have the pleasure of being best friends with just one of these such specimens. They come off as attractive, witty, fun, and then somewhere along the way take a turn for the worst when they suggest hot sex in the back of their expensive looking car, "looking" being the operative word. He says it as a joke but we both know there is no kidding present; he would hop on any willing hetero with boobs and a vagina.
I don't mean to say that these are bad methods but in my small world of angst ridden, pathetic boys these tactics are of little avail. Keep in my mind, these categories are limited to my experiences, which don't go far beyond a few oddball parties and Caribou outings; sad but true. However, I do think this outlines a fair number of the boys that one must encounter down the long road of dating. So I beg, be charming and follow through; it's actually pretty easy.
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